Abuser or Lover?

        Punches and curses followed by words of apologies. "I am sorry" they say, "I still love you" they proclaim. These are the words that are played back in the mind when an opportunity for escape arises. They said they will change and that the blows to the face are not intentional, its just that they get angry sometimes. You convince yourself they will change, time and time again, to the point when shame, lack of self worth and self blame takes over your heart. You feel trapped in a cage with an abuser by night and a lover by day. A lover that keeps a close eye on you by calling and checking up on you with the real intentions of knowing your whereabouts at the moment. A lover that is full of jealousy and wants you for themselves, even though they already have you. Anger and jealousy are their best friend and they dictate how they treat you. No matter how perfect you try to be they will always find a reason to abuse you.They are your abusive lover, that you are probably not reading this with. You are meant to be loved and not to be abused in the name of love. Please get help.

                                 

SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP (www.helpguide.org)
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings	Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you: feel afraid of your partner much of the time? avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner? believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? feel emotionally numb or helpless?	Does your partner: humiliate or yell at you? criticize you and put you down? treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see? ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? blame you for their own abusive behavior? see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats	Your Partner’s Controlling  Behavior
Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper? hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?  threaten to take your children away or harm them? threaten to commit suicide if you leave? force you to have sex? destroy your belongings?	Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive? control where you go or what you do? keep you from seeing your friends or family? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? constantly check up on you?