How to Truly Forgive

I am tired of people forgiving and not forgetting. Look I am not saying that your mind is a magic eraser that can suddenly wipe things away or that you should just pretend that it never happened. No not at all!

       Forgiveness according to Webster dictionary is "to cease to feel resentment against (an offender)".

        When you forgive please please please do not bring it up again. When you do it means you did not forgive you just put it on a shelf in your mind in case you will need it for later. When you forgive you choose to learn from the situation and never let it happen again but you do not hold it over their head. Have you ever had someone bring up something you did to them in the past in order to justify their present actions towards you? I have and its really frustrating, its like that secret weapon that they know can always justify anything they do, because they know you have done worse to them in the past. Its amazing how when you say "I forgive you" and truly mean it, there is a heavy load that is lifted off of your heart and mind. I have been on both sides and I know what its like to forgive and also to be forgiven. As an offender it is easier to say "I am sorry" and move on with life and not think twice about the person you offended but as the victim the situation is often replayed in your memory time and time again until you make a choice to forgive. When you forgive you are not justifying the fact that the individual was wrong, you are choosing to move on in life in spite of what others did to you.

Three things I do to help me truly forgive and move on

1. I talk to a close friend about it. Do not become a gossip, pick one close friend and vent.

2. I pray and ask for help to forgive. In order to forgive, you have to remember that you also have been forgiven.

3. Finally I record it in my forgiveness diary. When I forgive I write down who I forgave and what I forgave them for.(Once I write it down I never look at it again and I move on from there).